


(Love Of My Life) You've Hurt Me

by writeyourownlifestory



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-09 01:02:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17397122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writeyourownlifestory/pseuds/writeyourownlifestory
Summary: Playing in the greatest band in the world was easy. Loving your best friend's girl was hard.





	(Love Of My Life) You've Hurt Me

**Author's Note:**

> So, I saw this picture on Instagram of a deleted scene that featured Mary looking sad and Roger standing in the back watching her carefully. I made up a plot in my head about Roger always had feelings for Mary. My friends absolutely hated the idea so I wrote this to spite them. 
> 
> All of this is 100% BS I made up in my own head. I have no idea how Roger Taylor feels about Mary Austin. I just wrote this for fun so if you honestly hate it, don't even bother commenting.

 

He used to see her around from time to time; another gorgeous face lost in the sea of people. Even pushed back behind his drum set, Roger could always spot a pretty lady in the crowd. While to some, there would be nothing overly special about her. Long blonde hair and killer style, nothing new for the times. College girls were a dime a dozen, but Roger would be damned if he didn’t find something spectacular in every girl he brought home.

He never brought her home though. Not that he didn’t try. He would wonder over after a set, making his presence known to whatever group of friends she would be talking to. Sometimes he recognized the girls, other times they were new. He would thank them for coming out, introduce himself and even sometimes Brian and Tim. She would smile along but never fall for any of his lines.

And he had plenty of lines. The very thought of having a love song written about them would make any girl weak at the knees. Not her, however. She didn’t seem impressed by his talent, both on and off stage. Countless times he had tried to flirt with her, mentioning how he had seen her around only for her to respond him a mere ‘i go to school here.’ He had tried to fight that, insisting that yeah school was school, but constantly seeing her at his shows had to mean something.

Apparently, it meant she like music and nothing more.

Roger would never pester a girl. No was no, that much he understood. The very idea of forcing anything on a girl, even his company, would be enough for his mum to come and thump him.  
Still. She intrigued him. It wasn’t every day a girl would come along, give him one look, and then just keep walking. Roger didn’t like a brag (that's a lie, he loved it, he lived for it) but he happened to be quite popular with the ladies around campus, so it has someone shut him down so easily…well, it had him coming back for more.

Not that he believed she was playing hard to get. Roger could tell when a woman was trying to make him work for her. It didn’t happen often, but it was the little things she did here and there as if it would enchant him into wanting to be with her.

She wasn’t like that. She liked the music and maybe in an odd way, she even liked him, but Roger quickly found he was nothing but a game to her. Someone nice to look at, but never someone to truly play with. There were plenty of other things he could do on a Saturday night, why spend it sitting around thinking about some shop girl? Roger never let it bother him.

At least not until Freddie showed up.

Freddie was so much like Roger. He was bold and brass. He knew the talent he possessed and wasn’t scared to show it. Once Tim was out, Freddie was in and John came along shortly after. They went from this little group that played pubs and uni gigs to working on a real bloody album.

And with Freddie came Mary.

They never talked about it. Sometimes Roger wondered if Mary even remembered him. It wasn’t like Smile was very forgettable but they also weren’t the only band that the school had to offer.

Maybe it just wasn’t worth bringing up. The last thing Roger needed was for Freddie to know he had to hots for Mary. He probably wouldn’t even take it seriously. Nobody ever took Roger or his relationships serious. Not even Roger.

Sometimes, in the darkness, Roger found himself wondering why. Why him? What was it about Freddie that caught Mary’s attention. Roger was, rather bluntly, everything a woman in their era could want. He was gorgeous and talented. Clever and bright. Someone to bring home to mum and dad.

Alright, maybe the last part was a stretch, but it was true in some sense.

They were a good looking group of lads, everyone could agree on that. There were some differences though. Roger and Brian were conventionally handsome. They had the hair and the style. Jawlines and perfect teeth. They had their college degrees (mostly). They had household names. They were boyish yet sexy. Every woman’s dream.

Freddie and John weren’t exactly ugly but sometimes it just made sense why some women would throw themselves at the drummer and lead guitarist. They had their fans, of course. There were always women out there so sought off the less than perfect looking person.

It wasn’t a judgment call, not in the least, just facts. Who would they be without their talents, of course? A dentist? A designer? An astrophysicist? And whatever John wanted to do.

Electrical engineering.

Mary loved the way Freddie looked. She was partially his inspiration for some of his chosen outfits. She would help him with his makeup and his flair.

Mary came with them nearly everywhere, not that any of the members minded. For a while, it seemed as though she and Freddie were tied at the hip. Roger wasn’t lying when he said she had the face worth writing a song about.

Love of My Life was a hit. How could it not be?

A beautiful song was written about a beautiful woman.

Mary was more than beautiful, however. And Roger, well he learned that the hard way. There would be nights when they would be talking. Wasn’t like they ignored each other or anything like that. They were friends, so to speak. Roger had never been friends with a woman before. He had lady friends he would bring on tour with him or other women he’d pick up while on tour, but never an actual female friend that he talked to about things that didn’t regard the music.

Mary was smart. Incredibly so. She also had her own special touch for design. Roger wondered if that was one of the things Mary and Freddie were in one another. Their eye for fashion.

Roger liked to believe he was a snappy dresser. Sometimes Deacy would call him out for something he’d wear, or Brian or even Freddie. Mary was always there to comment on it. Make sense of his choice and show the others that Freddie wasn’t the only icon in the group.

Sometimes she’d even join in on the teasing. Ever since he wrote I’m In Love With My Car, he had been utter shit on by the band. He wasn’t proud of how he reacted when it first went down, but he liked to believe they grew up since then. He accepted the teasing as it came, but when Mary did it, it felt different. There was no cruelty in her tone. No common reminder that he locked himself in a bloody cupboard over which side it was on. Just fun teasing.

Mary was also funny, and clever and kind. She was an amazing person and sometimes Roger wondered if Freddie forgot all about that.

Sometimes he would stop by her shop just to chat. He would make up a line about having to come up with an outfit for something. Queen was getting so big that a thing wasn’t even really a lie. He’d wear the outfit she chose to a party or interview or even on stage. She would make him laugh and they’d tell jokes. It was fun. He liked it.

He liked her, but that was a different story.

There would be times when they were alone. Gone were the quips and the comments. Flirting with Mary would be a sin now as she belonged with Freddie. Every single time she’d enter a room, the ring would flash as a blinding reminder who she chose.

As if he was ever really a choice.

Mary would corner him and question him about their tour. If Freddie was having fun. Like a child on holiday. Or if he was happy. Could he be faking the smiles and cheers? It seemed Mary believed so. Sometimes, when it was dark and no one was around, she would ask him if he ever met someone on tour.

Roger wasn’t perfect. He had cheated on girls before. Even Brian wasn’t blameless when it came to courting multiple women. They were romantics in a romantic sense, but at the end of the day, they were still men with needs.

Not everybody could be Deacy, stick with one person and be happy with it.

Roger didn’t have an answer for her. Never had he seen Freddie out and about with a fan. He didn’t have the time for such things. He was always business. Sometimes he’d be a real shit, but at the end of the day, this was his life and he wasn’t going to mess it up for something stupid like an affair. At least not publicly.

Paul, the little prick, existed, but even Roger couldn’t say for sure if the two were doing anything behind closed doors.

So Roger did what any best friend and family member would do and reassured Mary what Freddie loved her. It wasn’t a lie and never would be.

There was a glimmer in Mary’s eyes when he said it. A shimmer of truth that she knew was real even if it didn’t answer her question.

Seeing her in pain utterly destroyed the drummer and for a short moment, Roger Taylor hated his best friend and cursed the name, Freddie Mercury. The man who thought he was a legend and was untouchable. The man who was so careless about everybody else feelings but his own.

They were bitter thoughts and Roger felt terrible for feeling them, but it was all the same in the end.

Eventually, the truth had to come out, however. Freddie, well he couldn’t stay hiding forever. He had to be true to himself, and to the band, and to his fans, and to Mary. His life and his career depended on it.

The engagement was off and while Mary still wore the ring, she stopped coming around. Roger still saw her from time to time. She lived next door to Freddie after all.

Sometimes Roger would pop over to see how she was doing. Freddie was having one of his moments and while Brian and Deacy always knew how to handle it, Roger learned sometimes it was better to bow out and let him have his way.

They would talk about life and how they were each doing. She was going on dates and Roger was happy for her. He was married by this point and honest and true, he did love Dominique. Was he loyal to her? No, but Roger wasn’t loyal to himself. Only to the band.

His one true love, apparently.

She took interest in his son, his pride and joy. To Rufus, she was Aunt Mary. Maybe someday when he gets older, Roger would tell him how in the darkness of nights, he would think about her and how there could have been the slimmest of chances that she would have been his mum.

It was ridiculous and he knew that, but it was still thought all the same.  
She found a new guy named David. He was a bit boring and he didn’t dress well at all. Freddie hated talking about it and so did Roger. They both thought she deserved better.

Roger and Freddie thought Mary deserved the whole fucking world twice over but neither of them was any good at giving it to her.

Eventually, life caught up with them and it wasn’t very pretty. Fights were had and for a short while, friendships were lost. When Freddie went out on his own and Paul refused to let him answer the bloody phone, Mary got desperate.

She called Roger, begging him to seek Freddie out, but he refused.

Maybe he was bitter over losing the only family he truly loved?

Maybe he was bitter over Freddie winning the only women he could never have?

Part of Roger begged for him to snap. To snap and tell Mary everything he has always longed to tell her. How beautiful she was to him when she would sit on the edge of the stage and watch them perform. How funny she was, making him laugh so effortlessly. How her voice was one of the most beautiful sounds and no song would ever be worthy of her.

No amount of words in the English language could ever fully capture how much his heart truly felt for her.

And how Freddie fucking Mercury never deserved her and never would.

But he didn’t snap. Instead, Roger said Freddie could fuck off with the wind and she took care of things on his own.

They forgave each other, as expected.

Freddie came back and the band got back together. Roger understood over time why Freddie did what he did. Why he had to get away.

When Freddie told them what he was dealing with, Roger did cry. Alone in his room, angry tears slipped down his face. He was angry and ashamed for feeling the way he did, though it made no difference that the feelings were true.

When they performed at Live Aid together, they did it as a family. As a unit.

And when Mary was off to the side. Blushing and bashful and happy, with her slowly swelling belly and her lover by her side, Roger was happy.

Not for him, but for her.

Mary Austin was the women Roger would never have, the women who always had men make excuses for her. And here she was, with her love and her growing babe, watching the man who would always be the love of her life.

Maybe it was a sad sight, but Roger didn’t want to think so.

And when their eyes locked on the stage and Mary was smiling at him, for a small moment,  
Roger believed that the love Mary shared wasn’t just for Freddie and wasn’t just for friendship, but for him as well.

It was a passing thought, but it made him happy none the less.

Regardless, they’d always have their music. They’d always have their fans.

And Roger Taylor would always have Queen.


End file.
